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Many women express mixed feelings about the relationship they have with their partner. For some women midlife is a time to spend together and relax in the comfort of the relationship. Others may be in a relationship with little communication and support because the partners may have grown apart over the years.
Changes associated with ageing and menopause can and do affect sexual relationships. Changes to the vagina (vaginal dryness and thinning of the vaginal wall) as a result of menopause can mean women are less likely to want penetrative sex because of associated pain and low libido.
It is important that women talk about these experiences and seek help when necessary. A woman needs to talk to her partner about these changes so the danger of miscommunication is avoided.
Sometimes male partners fear hurting their partner. Rather than ignoring the problem, it is better for the relationship and future sexual experiences to discuss the physiological and emotional changes that may result from menopause.
Improving the Relationship with a Partner
One of the most important things is to discuss your problems openly. Treat each other as friends and plan things to do together. Vary the routines of what you do together.
There are many ways two people can be sexual with each other that do not involve penetrative sex (use your imagination). Both partners could read relevant books and other resources.
Talk about the changes and issues with other women friends. Seek out a psychologist who specialises in working with couples.
Further Resources
Good Loving, Great Sex by Dr Rosie King
(book for sale in the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women's Health Shop)
The Sex Starved Marriage
By Michelle Weiner Davis
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
By Mira Kirshenbaum
Relationships Australia - www.relationships.com.au
Content updated July 05, 2005
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